Snow white and the Seven Dwarfs

Snow white and the Seven Dwarfs

"Snow white and the Seven Dwarfs" is a classic, not only for its animation but also most importantly DWARFS! DWARFS! The only thing that any film will ever need to be great.

I think it’s safe to assume that everyone knows the tale of Snow White, but just in case:  Evil Queen has a magic mirror, mirror tells the Queen she is not as beautiful as Snow White. The Queen orders a huntsman to kill her. The huntsman can’t bring himself to do it and lets her go. She finds herself in the company of seven dwarfs, but while they are at work the Evil Queen appears as an old hag.  She gives Snow an apple that puts her to sleep.  The Queen dies and the dwarfs mourn Snow. Sometime later a Prince appears and kisses her. She wakes up and lives happily ever after.

Dwarfs aside this was one of the first in a long line of full-length, coloured Disney films.  It is strange to think that my own grandmother went to see Snow White in the cinema when it was a NEW release, and that her father (my great grandfather) fell asleep half way through.  I imagine that this happened in the first 20 minutes or so as even I found it painfully boring. After all the first 20 minutes are dwarfless.

With the dwarfs nowhere in sight I found myself playing a new game I like to call Snow White Logic, it is simply a list of all the illogical nonsense that happened between the opening credits and her meeting the dwarfs, here we go:

• ·         I honest have no abjection about her talking to animals, that’s fine but it is what she says to them that makes no sense "Want to know a secret?" "This is a wishing well...." all wells are wishing wells, and this well is clearly very well shaped. Hence everyone probably knows its a well.
• ·         Snow then starts spouting out a bunch of rules for making wishes into wells “if it echoes it will come true” I am I the only one who has never heard of this theory before?
• ·        When a strange man appears in her garden she runs away, this is a good lesson to teach young girls, you shouldn't trust a man who breaks into your garden, unless they can sing, if he sings than you are bound by you feminine hormones to fall in love with him immediately.
• ·         One minute she's in rags, fair enough she was doing chores but why would she change into her nice fancy dress to go into the muddy dark woods?
• ·         She runs away from the harmless man who sings to her, but stands there dumb struck by the man coming at her with a knife! Her priorities are messed up!
• ·         "I guess there is no one home...." If she is so sure than why does she tell the animals around her to shush, there is no one there to disturb.
• ·         Assumes 7 children live alone in the  woods with mining equipment
• ·         Assumes children don't have mother because the house is messy
• ·         Chooses to clean the children's house to surprise them,  on the off chance that maybe they will let her stay.... 
• ·         Washes clothes that she thinks belongs to children... Is it just me that finds that creepy?

Well Grumpy found it creepy, Grumpy was the only dwarf talking any sense. Doc, who is supposed to be a smartest of all of them, allows himself to be bossed around by a woman who claims to be a princess. Grumpy is also the only one who doesn't physically abuse Dopey. Probably because he is trying to ignore him.

It does beg the question though: Was Dopey mental challenged because the other dwarfs abuse him, or do the other dwarfs abuse him because he is mentally challenged? 

Either way it is a dark and scary thought.

Despite their cruelty whoever was in charge of creating the dwarfs was a genius, they are adorable and if I hadn't already made it clear I LOVE THEM!! Grumpy and Doc fight so much, they should be given their own film to just argue and it would be the best movie of all time.

But enough about the dwarfs, what about the Queen? While re-watching this classic tale I realised that even as a child I found myself more drawn to the Queen, even rooting for her. She is clearly very clever and can't be as vain as she appears since she chooses to transform onto an ugly hag. Yes, her motives are evil and selfish but at least she isn't a naive controlling bitch like Snow White.

It seems I have some hidden and unresolved feelings toward Disney princesses, probably because my generation has been spoilt with awesome kickass princesses who take care of themselves.

Would now be a good time to mention BRAVE is my favorite Disney movie EVER!?!?

However this is a great film, and I think it deserves to be on the list just because of how damn happy it made me feel inside! The songs, although weren't my cup of tea where fantastic in their own right. I would recommend it, especially if you want to feel a warm, bubbly and nostalgic. It also deserves a place simply for its historical context as Walt Disney's first ever full length film!